the last week in school was horrible. had two tests on thursday, which obviously suck! met baby and was supposed to go get my party tank tops, but it was too late. so we went to my favourite place again. (: it was once again, a nice and short day.

traing on friday, still okay la. nway, i had my stupid cramps the past few days, and i could hardly do any work at night la. just forced myself to sleep. =x went out in the afternoon to pray, then returned home. caught chingay on the teevee. well, my saturdays are not meant to be spent at home.. pur-leeassse!

nway, i sorta completed my math tutorial! heh! quick anyone, just praise me! LOL! i did it till like 2am caaaan..! xP

and so, i went out to pray early this morning, again. and i met my twin at queensway after that. yehh! we bought the same shoes, same bags, and same slippers! oh well, we are twins! :D
it is a long and tiring day. and baby promised to get me my party tank tops, and yehh, he's getting me TWO of them! HEH. =P

okay. so it's this amazing to have nice frens in class. sorry, im not pointing at anyone of you, just felt a lil shock from all the little surprises i received early this morning. how wonderful to kickstart my wednesday morning!

so there is an econs retest just tmr, and i have nothing with me to study, and how nice mr goh is to push the chinese test to tmr afternoon as well! and how nice i will be to cancel my appointments just so last min because of all these stupid retests! arghhh. i just need to screammm! well, maybe i shouldnt even be angry, or maybe i dont have the right to be! because in the first place i didnt ask my clique in class, and so unfortunately amelia was absent tgt with me last thursday. oh well, and so my clique didnt tell when we didnt ask. okay. MY BAD. im having a rotten day! or a rotten week ahead! awww.

talking about responsibilities. look at yourself first, oh pur-leeeease! im just being so bitchy laaaa. eff off. its a torture to be absent from school, especially in this environment. =x

"there are more people who wish to be loved than those who are willing to
love."

maybe sometimes, we should just learn to love before we ask for love, and we should so learn to appreciate before we ask for appreciation. and therefore, i love my wonderful classmates, and appreciate them for being so wonderful to me. [sarcasm intended.]

i hate school.

maybe cny really brings good luck.
we are okay now.

talked on the 16th, or communicated.
everything went well by the new year's eve. (:
and so now, we are alright.

first day of cny was okay, rather bored actually. homed early and slept from 5 smth to 10smth, woke up to shower, then went back to sleep. =x woke up only the next day at ard 9 plus. hmmm. went my aunts house, then back to my house. yeahh, met up with baby too!

went over to his grandparents house to bai nian, then we left for ps, caught NORBIT at 2120. so it was another late night out with baby. had ice cream at swensens, and we slacked all the way till the movie start. trained home and went to my favourite place t slack again. we talked, and yeahh. baby sent me home.

met baby in the afternoon, was hoping that NUM would be open, but awwww.. =( im gonna get the party tank top, the basketball and wakeboarding one! :D well, i just wanna get them soon! and sentosa this saturday! i hope i wont be disappointed, again. it will be my date.

我睁开眼睛却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想时间变得更漫长
也与你有关否则又开始胡思乱想

我日月无光忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上现在空了一个地方

原来爱情这么伤比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强道理全是一样
说的时候很简单爱上后却正巧打乱
只想变的坚强强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤只要学会抵抗

原来爱情这么伤
原来爱情是这样这样峰回路转
泪水明明流不干瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
有一天终于打完思念的一场战
回过头再看一看
原来爱情那么伤
下次还会不会这样

yes, they see how much you have done, the efforts u have put in, somehow i guess i missed it. talk about pride and all, i have them as well. i said i should just get on with life and all, and that guys are selfish bastards. but you are the only selfish one that complete my days. for now, i will still choose you over everything. cos i know if i have you, i would own everything. baby, wont we have the chance to talk things out? i tried and tried, and im not giving up so soon. i fear alot of things, i fear alot of things really, i fear history would just repeat itself. i fear losing you, cos i love you, alot.

i dont even have any idea where went wrong, wats wrong with you and me? i think i deserve the rights to know abt it, but maybe before that, we should just stop the cold war.

here, i am freezing.
and i think its hard to move on.

whatever is yours will be yours.
how true/
will you be mine,
still.?

girlfriends/ruth/melia and all, i know you guys have been hearing so much from me. it might already be a nusiance. i dont know what to do, all i would say is i dont know. yehh, i find myself irritating you guys so much now. but i fear letting go, and losing him. i dont even want that to happen! we were just so fine like a while ago? tell me where went wrong, and please dont ask me to give up..

ON AND OFFS.
WHAT's NEXT?

so i thought clouds cleared.
ithoughtyouthinkwhoconfirm?
=x

heavenssake, its valentines day and im like gg to spend it not with him. he is an ass. he sucks. he just suck la. i am so not gg to give in again, since its like always nt my fauly but me saying sorry. yes, i dont mind saying sorry, but does it help!?

no, it doesnt.
yes, and gladly accept the fact that we are just immatureidiotsgettingourselvesentanglesinthenetoflove, and stupiddumbdumbstryingtocomparewhoismorestubborn, and finallyrealisingwhosatfaultandperhapsalreadylostwhatweshouldnthaveloseinthefirstplace.

wth.

if this is what you want, well, fine be it.
i never suffered so much before, and everyone believes and sees me as a strong girl. i am so definitely not gg to bow down t him again. a long story actually. dont know to start from where. it was him who said we should take a break and cool down, yeah, we did, and then he initiated an apology. yes, apology accepted, and then he was the one who said we should not make ourselves upset cos its vday, yes, we did for that minute or two. and he tried hard enough, called me to say happy valentines day. and soon after we hang up, he started going mad again, flaring up at me like nobodysbusinessandlikenobodycares! listen here, everyone cares! all my friends do care, except you.

all care, but you.
yes, you.

i am so guilty but its because everyone loves me! my teachers, my ballers, my sec school friends, my classmates, my collegemates, practically everyone! and i broke down in front of them, i feel so guilty. they all love me, yes, i know it, and i love you guys too. without all of you, i wouldnt be standing infront of you right now. you all have made my life brighter and more meaningful!

elizabeth;sarah;msleexiuli;jungui;qinling;geraldine;ruth;nicolette;huiwen;jeremy;
tiying;xiuyi;xiuyun;persis;yuzhen;yingling;yiwen;yongchiang;arif;
rouhui;chengyin;phuayhiang;chaijing;clara;yeeting;yufei;amelia;nizar;
farah;halimah;hongjan;adeline;sihui;shanshan;huiyue;myfriendsfromA8;
allmyballerfriendswhomiknowwillstandbymeallthetime;
and and MYREN!

my superBOY made my day superb today! he talked to me in class, entertained me, and i never felt anyth that was really bad when we were talking la. at least he makes me forget about that temporaily. it was fun talking to you during gp lessons, and bear in mind, guys are selfish bastards. thanks. :)

and my superMAN! :D im so so so grateful to my superMAN. he cheered me up, accompanied me to talk, said all the nice things to make me feel loved, and still loved. yehh, my friend, i appreciate you for everything, for all that you have done for me. you said you would bring me to somewhere, theplaceyouknowiknowone, yehh. and so you should quick guess my birthday! =] still anyway, thank you for being there all the time. sometimes i just wish that my bf can be like at least half of you, and treat me better. i know it is very unfair and all shit, to actually compare. i know it sucks. and please sometimes dont treat me so nicee, you make me feel guilty. =x

hey there, its valentines day, here i am rubbing salt into my own wound again. i had a terribleyetnotsoterribleday in school today. i cried, yeahh i did. but that wasnt what i wanted. i am supposed to be strong, everyone sees me as one who never fall, so i wont fall again, hopefully. even though the gifts are small, but they are ever-so-precious to me, my dearies out there. they really mean alot, ALOT! even the softest HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! can make my heart smile, and melt.

today, i see the importance of my friends and what shit boyfriends can be like. therefore i love my friends more! superBOY, somehow i think you did talk some sense into me during lecture, yes, i am not gg to give in and say sorry anymore, i will not let anyone take advantage of me. today's game will prove everything. i wont give up until the end, until the last blow of the whistle. today's game, i will nt be taken advantage of, and nobody will bully me or put me down ever again.

nobody.

GO, huahua!

caught HAPPY BIRTHDAY ytd w baby. yes. i cried like mad! didnt finish my favourite nachos la! ate like a few pieces ONLY!
dinner at fish&co. was rather bad. vomitted part of whatever i ate. the cheese made me feel sick. =X
and we were at the swing for some time. yehh. clouds cleared,

hopefully.

vday is cmg, or was it over alr?
arhh. i need cash, i need alot of money la!
and cny is coming real soon. =))
hopefully, everything is okay and will be okay.

god bless.

PS. thank you, girlfriend and ruth!
:D

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
The Bottom Line
Don't try to solve the world's problems today. Focus on the people in your life.
In Detail
Thinking philosophically about the state of the world is important, but don't let yourself become overwhelmed by the scope of your thoughts, or the scope of the planet's problems. Today, ponder your personal life. Search for deeper meaning, and develop some philosophies to live by. Also, focus on the people in your life and try to imagine what they're thinking about. Doing this will make you feel as though you can make a difference.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)[?]
The Bottom Line
Your relationships are not all exclusive -- you must share the people you love.
In Detail
Your relationships are not all exclusive -- sometimes, like it or not, you have to share the people you love. You should have plenty of confidence in how much your closest friends value you -- don't worry that anyone else can change that personal connection. If you get too possessive about your relationships, you send a message that the assurance you need is more important that the other person's independence.

tell me what to do.
i tried, am trying and still trying.
nothing seems to work.
i am giving up soon. and my heart cant go on alr.
it hurts like mad, yet u never knew.

such a big change,
i am unable to accept and take it.
maybe you chose ur friends, i dont know.

huahua shi lian le laaaaa...
i am feeling super low, maybe no one should bug me now.
a word of comfort will somehow help.
?

芳: 花
我的名字叫芳芳, 你可以也叫我花花.

:D
(how interesting chinese lit lessons can be!)


for godknowswhateverreason, i dislike malaysia. first is because of him, second is still because of him, and next i think i am going to dislike bali as well, reasons remain the same. i hate him forbeing so nice and so not nice! its like so wth! maybe i should just learn to let things go, or i am already learning to?

can someone just knock some sense into him!? things that a guy or rather a boyfriend should do, and i have to tell him? i have to state things so clearly to him..? is that so? i think i am going nowhere. he should just go do all his work, get f'up by his manager and all, go travelling with all his beloved colleagues and stop trying to be nice to be at one min, and just turn away the next. i am just but a nobody, is that so? what a guy you are!


how much more can i ask from you?
not even for you to be slightly better to me?
to give me more of your attention?
and to just keep me company more often?
is that just too much?

choose it.
work or me.

HAPPY 5MONT HSARY, GIRLFRIEND !!!
(: